First Time Chronicles: A's First Kiss

Everyone has a first time. And even if some of us overly day dreamt about this that the line between reality and dreams got blurred to the point where I'm not sure who/when my first was, I'm introducing a new category on my blog: *drum roll please* The First Time Chronicles. To the best of my knowledge the events recounted herein are true but names have been changed to protect the otherwise innocent. Of course if you know me or the story subjects well enough to guess them from the chronicles then you probably already knew part of the story anyway. Here goes...the unabridged, unedited recollection of one of my very best friends First Kiss.

This story is relayed as best as I remember

-The first time I ever got kissed. On the mouth. By a boy. ; IDK if u, my nearest and dearest, know the full story. I think I've never really told coz I was well... embarrassed. Coz my first kiss ladies, was with a faux DJ who is now allegedly pregnant(he is huuuggeeee). Yes, K was my first kiss. It was S6 vac and I was 18 and all I wanted was for it to be done. I wanted to be past that point. The point of being kissed. So in my very desperate state, I convinced myself K was the perfect one to break my kissing cherry. After all, the "sexts" would get me hot (I say "sexts"*insert me air quoting the quoted word* because him being saved, they would always stop at kissing because as he said, anything beyond that is a sin) So I figured, his kissing game must be on point right? So we made a plan to go on a "date"(there's a lot of quotes in this coz now that I'm older and fabulous, I know all this was just the teenage drama queen in me pushing for things). Location of said date, that cafe next to Four Turkeys (it closed down). 

So I tell my parents I need to go to the internet cafe in town(it was 2008, times were a struggle). My brother does his brotherly duty of dropping me off at 3.30 and saying he'll come pick me up at 6. Since K hadn't texted/called me yet, I do actually go to the net cafe and ask for enough time for 500shs, my tummy doing Gabby Douglas level gymnastics the whole time. Then the call comes "Hey I'm at the cafe, where r u?" in that voice I used to find soooo hot(he would make it deeper and forge a bit of an accent...don't judge me). I log out, smooth out my fave casually chic(in my mind) purple checkered skirt and head over. We see each other, awkwardly hug, and make our to the upstairs part of the cafe(I use the term upstairs v. loosely because it was just a built in wooden thing that I'm sure would have fallen if the passion I thought was about to occur did infact occur). We sit, he asks if I want something to eat, I decline because I am 18 and painfully insecure, he insists at least I should order a soda, I order a sprite and we begin to try at a conversation. "Do u know when results r coming out?" "No" "U I know ur not scared, u must have bwarted" *insert demure smile and eyelash batting* 

I don't remember what else we must have been lying to each other about but I remember him putting my arm around me and pulling me closer and my nether regions clenching... I also remember putting my head on his chest. Then I remember him tilting my head and me thinking shit shit shit! Its about to happen! Then I remember impact. Lip to lip. Then some sucking. Then my waiting and waiting for the fire works to start. maybe they r just a little delayed i was thinking. I ofcourse wasn't doing anything with my lips coz all I was waiting for was the moment where I'd feel that because I am kissing a guy, my life is changed. it wasn't coming. the waiter was though. so we hastily pulled apart.

"Boss tuli ok" said K on inquiry if we needed more soda. "Do u think he saw us from downstairs?" I asked nervously coz as much as I wanted to be on the other side of the not kissed/kissed spectrum, the thought of the wrath of my mother if she was told her daughter was spotted (in the manner of Gossip Girl) kissing some young man in a cafe in town was enough for all feelings in my nether regions to pack up and move to Kisubi Seminary. "No one can see us up here" breathily whispered. My nether regions clenched again and I decided we should try again. Maybe the second time the fireworks will happen? Nope. It was still just me waiting for them with the same thought running through my head, when is this supposed to feel good?, and him with his hand on my waist and his eyes tightly closed. 

Somehow though (thank Budda), it was 6 and my brother being so good at his brotherly duties, called to let me know he was waiting outside. the internet cafe. I quickly gathered my my persons making up an excuse in my head to tell him as to why I was coming out of there and not the internet place (coz I had gone to get a samosa). My kissing cherry popper stayed sitting coz according to him, we had to walk out separately not to draw attention to ourselves. Whatevs. I just wanted out of there and some gum. As I made my exit, I hear my name being called. It was S from p7. "I saw u up there and wasn't sure it was you" Oh shit. "HIIIII!!! Sorry i have to run, my brother is waiting." In the car ride home, all I kept thinking was why haven't I changed? Y do I still feel the same? Elizabeth's first kiss with Todd in some Sweet Valley Middle School kept running through my mind for some reason. She had changed because of it. Y hadn't I? Its taken me many many manyyyyy more kisses to know that kissing doesn't change u. After all, with your eyes closed its just a disembodied pair of lips on yours. It's when your eyes open, the person who owns those lips. That's who changes u (coz God knows I loveddddd kissing he-who-shall-not-be-named. But that's another story)

Feel free to submit your own in the comments. 

X

Lord of the Flies: A Review

So in a bid to still meet my goal of reading 2 books a month despite my 8 to 5 and a whole lotta series to catch up with, I decided on having a "bed book" aka, that book you keep beside your pillow that you read while waiting for Hypnos to take you to his dream kingdom, and the weekend read when you are awake but not ready to get out of bed and put on pants.
After reading the first two in the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy, I decided I needed better writing to cleanse my mental palate. I wanted a classic because apparently they're 50 books everyone should read before they die (check the list out here )and I'm just on about 22. A friend recommends Lord of the Flies. Below is my review;

First up, an analysis of the cover art.

The synopsis has something about prepubescent boys stranded on a tropical island after their plan crashes and the hijinks that ensue. The cover- painted boys, butterflies, leaves, fire, snakes(?) against a red back drop seemed fun to me so I was sold. Just goes to show there's literal truth in the old adage "never judge a book by its cover"

Looks like fun, no?

This one hints at a Treasure Island like adventure.

Had the copy I'd been given had any of these covers below, I'd never have taken it to bed with me!

This is more abstract than scary but I'd still not take it to bed

The flies' lord

Now the actual Review
Anyway, misleading covers aside. William Golding is a true literal genius, I had favourites by the 3rd chapter (Jack wasn't one of them), while the vivid island descriptions were such that I could hold my breath if it got dark and the kids were scared or read while a half smile as they played in the clear blue pool. And even if it was clear as I read that this was the kind of book literature teachers love to assign, by the time I was done I'm glad none of my teachers had chosen it! By the end I was positively fighting back nausea, chilled to my soul with the goosebumps to show and basically developing mild paranoia about everyone I know and what they would do if stripped of the confines of civilisation.
Its all fun and games in the start, the older kids (13yrs at most) instinctively now they have to take care of the littluns, a leader, Ralph. is chosen by default of his appearance and possession of a conch that he used to call the assembly.Piggy, the token fat geek, seems compassionate with a good head on his shoulders and guides Ralph with leadership even though Ralph is more taken with Jack the choir (later hunters) leader.

Then the littluns start having nightmares and the older kids get fed up with responsibility. Jack resents Piggy and Ralph is obsessed with keeping a smoke signal so they can be rescued. Piggy eternally shadows Ralph, Jack gets obsessed with hunting and killing and the boys come up with a hunt dance that results in the murder of another of my favourites. Yes, they are still 13 year olds.

This is the point where the bile starts rising up in my throat, luckily it was broad daylight on Sunday as I read, and after the final murder and then the manhunt for Ralph, I couldn't wait for the final word and immediately watched Flipped thereafter because I was shivering and needed a feel-good distraction.

*side note* The actual Lord of the Flies is a severed pig's head on a stick (!) left to appease the imagined beast.(Which explains the scarier cover art. and there i was thinking it referred to Ralph and the flies were the littluns)

I can see why the book is a hit. Is it one of my favourites? Heck no! I like happier books than this. Even the violent ones like HP are tolerable because the violence is committed by adults not school kids! I would love to see the movie and stage adaptations, if only to put a face on Roger because my mind couldn't conjure up a suitable evil 12yr old face.

Footprints in the sands of time

So I've decided to resurrect this blog cuz my ego just won't stop telling me this is how I'm going to be famous! never mind the fact that I live in a third world country, with temperamental internet and haranguing people about my blog just isn't my thing. Anyway, after my plans to start up a tell all blog about the sexual/romantic adventures of a 20something in Uganda with a friend remain just on paper months later, and yet Emma Koenig gets a book deal from a tumblr famous for almost this very premise (except hers is hand drawn and she's obviously not Ugandan), I've buckled under.; time to shake the dust off old faithful here and blog anew.

A refresher, I'm a vain narcissist (is this the same thing?) but kinda reserved, yet I live for being the centre of attention, but not in a spotlight kinda way... Oh I'm losing my train of thought! Maybe this collage of how I always start my work day by mugging for my webcam will illustrate my point better. Yeah?

i need a gimmick! i need a gimmick to get famous! maybe collages of me looking hot?

How To Choose between Two loves

Tumblr takes up so much of my time these days. And work. And a social life. But I just had to share this. Turns out, I always chose right.

If procrastination were an art form - I would be unrivalled

Come to think of it, I still just might be. See, there's nothing quite so deflating like having to go backwards with your research just to iron out a few kinks here and there. Jeez, I have written worse papers and gotten Bs so really why can't they just let me get on with it? For Chrissake I even deleted some of the references thinking I was done with them and now...Aaaaarrrggghh!

Breath in, breath out, go online. Today is Frank Lloyd Wright's birthday. I can't believe he came up with all those magnificent designs without the aid of any computer work whatsoever. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe computers are my Achilles heel? God knows I waste enough time online. Not to mention my CAD designs never really do my imagination justice. A bad workman and his tools? tsk tsk.

Moving on.I have a few fall back sites I usually run to when my head is saturated. One of my favourite is dearblankpleaseblank. Haven't checked it out in a while (damn you IAQ research) so was really looking forward to smirking and smiling all by myself. I wasn't disappointed. Here are some of the gems :)

Dear William and Kate,

If William is 100% royal and Kate is 0% royal, will that make your son the half-blood prince?

Sincerely, curious.

(I doubt there is anyone out there who hasn't read HP6 but if you don't get this, then you should probably get yourself a copy of JK Rowling's 6th masterpiece [in the Potterverse I mean, Im'm sure all her other books are masterpieces as well] Wait can you have more than one masterpiece? Errrr...drat! what has arch school done to me????)

Dear church women,

Please stop diguising gossip in your prayer circle...

Sincerely, "let us pray for tanya who is now pregnant at age 15 with no father in sight..." 

(so funny yet so true. touche :)

Dear World,

Leonardo DiCaprio didn't die at the end of the Titanic; he washed up on the shore at the beginning of Inception.

Sincerely, anonymous.

 (Awww, you can now breathe easy all you Jack fans. But what a difference a decade or so can make. You can have him Blake Lively, I liked him better poorer.)

Dear English teacher,

How can I get a question wrong that was asking for my opinion?

Sincerely, fed up. 

(Exactly how my supervisor makes me feel sometimes. Its my research, let me get on with it already instead of asking me for relevance, etc. Obvoiusly I included it for a reason, read the rest of the paper and find out! Eish.)

And many more funny "letters" but I gotta get back to work.

A Father To His Son by Carl Sandburg

A Father To His Son by Carl Sandburg

A friend (way older friend) asked me for a poem they could send their godson upn his graduation. I was busy with research to come up with one myself but i searched poem hunter anyway and loved this one :)

On my TBR list this summer

The perks of being a wall flower - stephen chbosky. I mean, how can you not after this review? foreveryoungadult