First Time Chronicles: A's First Kiss

Everyone has a first time. And even if some of us overly day dreamt about this that the line between reality and dreams got blurred to the point where I'm not sure who/when my first was, I'm introducing a new category on my blog: *drum roll please* The First Time Chronicles. To the best of my knowledge the events recounted herein are true but names have been changed to protect the otherwise innocent. Of course if you know me or the story subjects well enough to guess them from the chronicles then you probably already knew part of the story anyway. Here goes...the unabridged, unedited recollection of one of my very best friends First Kiss.

This story is relayed as best as I remember

-The first time I ever got kissed. On the mouth. By a boy. ; IDK if u, my nearest and dearest, know the full story. I think I've never really told coz I was well... embarrassed. Coz my first kiss ladies, was with a faux DJ who is now allegedly pregnant(he is huuuggeeee). Yes, K was my first kiss. It was S6 vac and I was 18 and all I wanted was for it to be done. I wanted to be past that point. The point of being kissed. So in my very desperate state, I convinced myself K was the perfect one to break my kissing cherry. After all, the "sexts" would get me hot (I say "sexts"*insert me air quoting the quoted word* because him being saved, they would always stop at kissing because as he said, anything beyond that is a sin) So I figured, his kissing game must be on point right? So we made a plan to go on a "date"(there's a lot of quotes in this coz now that I'm older and fabulous, I know all this was just the teenage drama queen in me pushing for things). Location of said date, that cafe next to Four Turkeys (it closed down). 

So I tell my parents I need to go to the internet cafe in town(it was 2008, times were a struggle). My brother does his brotherly duty of dropping me off at 3.30 and saying he'll come pick me up at 6. Since K hadn't texted/called me yet, I do actually go to the net cafe and ask for enough time for 500shs, my tummy doing Gabby Douglas level gymnastics the whole time. Then the call comes "Hey I'm at the cafe, where r u?" in that voice I used to find soooo hot(he would make it deeper and forge a bit of an accent...don't judge me). I log out, smooth out my fave casually chic(in my mind) purple checkered skirt and head over. We see each other, awkwardly hug, and make our to the upstairs part of the cafe(I use the term upstairs v. loosely because it was just a built in wooden thing that I'm sure would have fallen if the passion I thought was about to occur did infact occur). We sit, he asks if I want something to eat, I decline because I am 18 and painfully insecure, he insists at least I should order a soda, I order a sprite and we begin to try at a conversation. "Do u know when results r coming out?" "No" "U I know ur not scared, u must have bwarted" *insert demure smile and eyelash batting* 

I don't remember what else we must have been lying to each other about but I remember him putting my arm around me and pulling me closer and my nether regions clenching... I also remember putting my head on his chest. Then I remember him tilting my head and me thinking shit shit shit! Its about to happen! Then I remember impact. Lip to lip. Then some sucking. Then my waiting and waiting for the fire works to start. maybe they r just a little delayed i was thinking. I ofcourse wasn't doing anything with my lips coz all I was waiting for was the moment where I'd feel that because I am kissing a guy, my life is changed. it wasn't coming. the waiter was though. so we hastily pulled apart.

"Boss tuli ok" said K on inquiry if we needed more soda. "Do u think he saw us from downstairs?" I asked nervously coz as much as I wanted to be on the other side of the not kissed/kissed spectrum, the thought of the wrath of my mother if she was told her daughter was spotted (in the manner of Gossip Girl) kissing some young man in a cafe in town was enough for all feelings in my nether regions to pack up and move to Kisubi Seminary. "No one can see us up here" breathily whispered. My nether regions clenched again and I decided we should try again. Maybe the second time the fireworks will happen? Nope. It was still just me waiting for them with the same thought running through my head, when is this supposed to feel good?, and him with his hand on my waist and his eyes tightly closed. 

Somehow though (thank Budda), it was 6 and my brother being so good at his brotherly duties, called to let me know he was waiting outside. the internet cafe. I quickly gathered my my persons making up an excuse in my head to tell him as to why I was coming out of there and not the internet place (coz I had gone to get a samosa). My kissing cherry popper stayed sitting coz according to him, we had to walk out separately not to draw attention to ourselves. Whatevs. I just wanted out of there and some gum. As I made my exit, I hear my name being called. It was S from p7. "I saw u up there and wasn't sure it was you" Oh shit. "HIIIII!!! Sorry i have to run, my brother is waiting." In the car ride home, all I kept thinking was why haven't I changed? Y do I still feel the same? Elizabeth's first kiss with Todd in some Sweet Valley Middle School kept running through my mind for some reason. She had changed because of it. Y hadn't I? Its taken me many many manyyyyy more kisses to know that kissing doesn't change u. After all, with your eyes closed its just a disembodied pair of lips on yours. It's when your eyes open, the person who owns those lips. That's who changes u (coz God knows I loveddddd kissing he-who-shall-not-be-named. But that's another story)

Feel free to submit your own in the comments. 

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